A Buyer’s Guide to Brookstone

Alright, mammas; it’s time to take a stroll down memory lane!

Do you remember B.A. (no, not Bad. Ass., but Before. Amazon.) when we actually had to put on pants, get in the car, and DRIVE to the mall to buy stuff?

It was a dark time, I know, but stay with me! When you got to the mall and wandered around for awhile, you probably stumbled upon a futuristic-looking store with oversized massage chairs that just beckoned you to come in, take a seat, and put up your feet for awhile… Remember?

Of course you do! It was Brookstone and it had the coolest, most-overpriced gadgets of any other store in the mall! Good news; Brookstone is still going strong and you can still purchase their overpriced gadgets via their stores (yes; malls are still a thing!), website, and catalog, which is where we recently did our shopping.

Curious as to what Brookstone sells in 2017? We were too, so here is a quick buyer’s guide to all things Brookstone:

Disney’s Frozen Elsa & Anna Ultrasonic Cool Mist and Anti-Microbial 1 Gallon Kid-Friendly and Quiet Humidifier ($59.99)


If I had a daughter and she asked me for a $60 1-gallon humidifier with a licensed Disney sticker slapped on the side, I would tell her to “Let it Go” while we drove to our local thrift store to buy the EXACT same humidifier for $7.99.

Bed Fan with Wireless Remote ($99.99)


I actually have one of these and it works really well! (Unfortunately, it isn’t from Brookstone and it only happens after my husband eats a $5 Box from Taco Bell…)

ChiliPad – Cooling/Heated Mattress Pad ($999)


When I was pregnant with my oldest son, I had disgusting night sweats like nobody’s business… but do you want to know what I did to combat them (aside from stripping off clothing and eating bacon)? I went to Walgreens and purchased a Chillow for $19.99… sure; the thing didn’t hold water very well and ended up leaking all over and me and the bed, but the moral of the story is that I did not sell out for a $999 mattress pad! (Annie – 1 // Brookstone – 0… or something like that.)

Tranquil Moments® Bedside Speaker & Sleep Sounds ($129.99)


Okay, if I am paying $130 for a noise maker, I better wake up even more soaked than I did when my Chillow burst via this white rain AND my house had better be on fire from the lightning that struck during this “doctor developed” lulling thunderstorm.

Recover 3D Zero Gravity Massage Chair ($4,999)


Okay, I don’t have a snarky comment for this one because I legitimately do want this chair.

Cordless Active Sport Massager ($99.99)


From the look on this model’s face, she isn’t just feeling this massage in her shoulder (if you know what I’m sayin’ *wink*)…

Hand Massager ($129.99)


Do you want to know how I get a “super-relaxing hand massage anytime, anywhere?” By telling my husband that I am thinking of buying a hand massager for $130.

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